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SaintOlaf

Avatar 2007-07-04'den beri

Erkek

Age: 44

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"I put FUN in disFUNctional !!!"

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HAPPINESS
Your gentle touch, like the wind caressing the leafs, has never felt so good before.

I still try to comprehend why I ever was so lucky to experience this miracle.
Your brown eyes, looking into the deepest of my soul.

Looking for answers, when I don't even have to ask any questions.
Still looking at them. I don't need a fantasy or a dream to make me happy.

Just let me wonder away in your eyes and I will be the happiest man that was ever born.
Your enchanting smile, that could bring down an entire kingdom

just by smiling.
I could never imagine a world without that smile of yours. It touches me on so many ways.

Your heavenly skin, each time I move my fingers over it, my mind begins to wonder of. Just because it can't understand what it is doing to me.

Every day, thinking of that beautiful smooth skin of yours. I remember the times I slowly touched and gently kissed it.
Your soft silky lips,

as soft as satin. The way lips should be.
Never did I find lips so beautiful and pure, that I'm still afraid

to wake up from this dream and all this will be gone.
All of this and everything else, makes you such a beautiful woman.

A woman like you is something you only find once in a lifetime and I'm glad I did found her.
But I have only one regret of this all. That the word "beautiful" is just a word

and it doesn't show at all how heavenly you just are.
(Saint Olaf)

Hurt
- A gaze into despair, with sorrow so deep. Waking up in hell's lair, when all I do is bleed.
- All feelings I had died, every emotion was a pain. When all the time my heart cried, like I was sitting in the rain.
- You gave me passion and desire, under a thin layer of silk and lace. At first you put my heart on fire, later on you lied to my face.
- What once was passionate lust, was for you only a game. You never heard of the word trust, only of your own personnal shallow fame.
- Did you ever loved me, maybe I will never know. I only want to be free, without thinking of your sorrow.
- All I said was goodbye, to end this once and for all. No tear, no regret and no cry, I was still standing tall.
(Saint Olaf)

Relationship Status: Single
Looking For: Relationships

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Time
Why is it, that we take any given day as granted?
The flowers will still show their natural beauty during the long summer days.
The leafs will still get born in the spring and will leave their inheritage to the next generation in the fall.
Time is so precious, yet we see it as a normal thing. Something that we think we will always have.
But the time will come, when this will end
The flowers will still be there and the leafs will repeat their annual dance of life again.
Yet we won't see it again.
(Saint Olaf)

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Visitors 583

Gifts 7

Generosity 83

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SCARS
Every time I see you go, you leave a scar in my heart. Not too deep, just deep enough to remind me of you all day long.
Although these scars will vanish after I see you again, it's still hard to see you leave each time. When I look deep in my heart, it excists of wonderful times and scars.
Not all scars are bad. Some are, but the majority of them are just there to remind us of certain moments in our life.
Maybe scar is a bad name to use in the same sentence with words like love, care, passion, desire, lust or beauty.
And that may be so. But the thing is, a scar reminds me of something that happened. Something I don't want to forget.
So I just let the good moments leave scars in my heart, just to be there for me. Whenever I feel sad or lonely, I look into my heart and see all the good times we shared.
But the sad part is, although I have a large heart for loving and caring, my heart is getting too little to store all the heart-warming memories from you.
You are just making too much loving memories for my heart, and it can't keep up making scars for all of them.
But I don't care and I never will, because the more scars my heart has to endure, the more my heart is letting me know how much I really love you.
(Saint Olaf)
FEELINGS
Today was supposed to be a day like any other day, except it wasn't.
The wind was still blowing and the leafs were still wondering away, but it wasn't the same.
People were still acting the same way and everything else was just like it supposed to be.
But it still wasn't.
Everything that I took for granted, were like gifts all of a sudden.
It's strange how everything changed around me.
Was it just me? Was I'm just getting crazy all of a sudden?
I looked at the clock, just two hours have passed. But it just seemed like eternity.
What was going on with me? Even the most simple things looked like impossible right about now.
I'm figuring out what's going on with me. Was I the one that was going crazy, Or was it the world around me?
It's strange how something, so small, can have an impact like that.
I sit down just outside with my coffee to clear my mind.
Then, without any warning it hits me. How could I've been so stupid all day long?
I had to know before what the reason would be, But I never thought of it like this.
I'm finally realizing what it is. Maybe so small, yet so big. Maybe it's not so important, but still it encircles my world.
No matter how I ask myself these questions, the answer is still the same.
You have no idea how your presence has changed the way I think about life.
How ordinary things look like miracles.
You totally changed me, in a way that I didn't find possible.
And I thank you for that. I thank you for the way you have been here for me all this time.
It's all the small things together, that makes you such an amazing woman.
It's strange really, how you put my life upside down. But I don't want it any other way.
You are really the kind of woman that someone has to earn and not take for granted.
I'm glad I met you and I cherish every single second of it.
I'm here, but my feelings are with you. I'm here, but my thoughts are with you. I'm here, but I wish I was with you.
(Saint Olaf)

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HEAVEN
Maybe we will never see each other face to face, so I normally will never have the chance to ... smell the scent that you have in the morning. ... feel the silky taste of your lips. ... see into your eyes and get lost in it while trying to read them. ... hold your hand or let you lay your head down on my shoulder when you need it the most. ... look straight in your eyes and tell you how lucky I am for meeting you and being in my life. ... know how it would be like, to lay in each other arms before a fireplace. ... have the feeling of missing you when you leave and of happiness when I see you again. ... move my hand through your hair when you are laying next to me. ... hear the sound of your voice when you whisper some sweet words in my ear. ... see how lucky you are with people that care so much for you. ... see you in real life and tell you what a wonderful person you are. ... sweep you of your feet, by telling you how much I care for you. ... be there to comfort you and stand beside you when you need someone. ... show you in person what passion and desire is all about. ... feel your touch over my body, as a reminder of how lucky I would be.
The things that I miss the most are seeing you for real, look into your eyes, feel the silky touch of your silky lips, hear you whisper things while nibbling on my ear and to show you that you deserve all this.
But the thing I would give anything for, is a chance to look deep into your eyes and tell you how much I care and even love you.
(Saint Olaf)

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Lonely heart
- I'm not alone, but still I miss certain things in my life. The slightest touch of your hand on my cheek, slowly moving your thumb over it. While at the same looking straight in my eyes, to let me know you are here for me.
- I keep looking in your eyes and everytime I'm still suprised how beautiful they really are. It's unexplainable, but I keep losing myself in them, over and over again.
- I miss the warmth you bring into my life, even when doing the most simple things, it keeps reminding me how special you really are.
- When thinking about your luscious lips, I long to feel them again. I can dream or fantasise about them, but nothing comes even close to the wonderful feeling it gives me.
- The sight of you in the morning is enough to let me know that I'm still alive. Your voluptuous body laying next to mine is all I ever want and need. The thought of laying my arm around you while falling asleep, would make numerous men extremely jealous of me and I can't blame them.
- Your sweet and soft voice, like it is carried by angels above. Just hearing it, makes me lose feeling in my legs. Every time I hear your precious voice again, I'm fourteen again and I feel butterflies in my stomach for the first time. I never thought that anyone would make me so happy again.
- Sweet baby, I love you. You are the only one for me. Thinking of you makes me happy. Looking at you makes me even happier. Touching you would make me the happiest man alive. But being with you is a gift from above, a message from God, given to me by angels.
(Saint Olaf)

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DARKNESS
- Dark is the colour of my soul, haunted by inner demons of lust, passion and desire. How did it ever come to this? A question that I had to ask, way before I exposed myself to these demons of limited happiness.
- Three small words that hide so much demons, that I think I'm in hell all the time. So why did I ever got involved with them? A pact with the devil, temporary insanity or a moment of weakness?
- I will never know for sure. The only thing that I'm sure of, is that they keep haunting me. No matter where I go, no matter what I do. They keep visiting my mind, like it was an amusament park.
- They won't let me get on with my life. Time after time I tried, time after time I failed and time after time they are doing their job better.
- It's like going to sleep like any ordinairy day and wake up the next one in purgatory. After so many failed attempts, I begin losing hope and let the demons, that were caused by these three words, enter my mind.
- I know that there is no escape from them. So I just open myself to them to make it a quick pain, instead of a long time of inner torture. My pain begins to lower itself with every breath I take. Still is the pain much more than I can bear.
- I go to the bathroom, take a razorblade and put it against my arm. Without further thinking, I begin to cut myself. Again, again and again. Moments later, my head begins to turn due to the loss of blood. My vision is falling away and all my strenght is drifting away in the air.
- I see the ground coming closer as I begin to fall down. My head hits the floor and everything suddenly looks black. Why does it always has to be black?
- Hours later I wake up. Still don't know what happened. I look around. I see myself laying in a pool of blood. What happened? Still confused with all of this, I suddenly look at my arm. Blood is dripping on the ground.
- I put my arm under some water to clean it from all the blood. Blood is dripping in the sink, when I make a strange discovery. In my arm are some markings. Markings that are possibly made by myself. I wash all the blood away when I see what I have written on my arm.
- Never more.
(Saint Olaf)

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